Mommy's Journal

You're Two!

2011-05-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

Dearest Lucas,

This morning, I asked you, "what day is today?" and you replied, "it's my birthday!!!". You replied that way because I taught you what to say when I ask that question. In the years to come, you will know when it's your birthday. I won't have to remind you and teach you to say "it's my birthday!". You'll just know it. You'll know it's your big day and it's special to you.

You will await for it every year. You will be counting down as you get closer to it. You may even take advantage of the day to ask for something that you've always wanted. I hope you won't demand too much.

It's been another amazing year for me and you dad. You've only turned two, but in the last 12 months your dad and I feel that you've matured so much. Unlike your first year, we no longer assume what you need or how you feel, because you now tell us. You can communicate very well now and say things very clearly. I like that so much about you, son. I like that you started speaking early and that you pay attention to what we teach you. I like that you are very curious and observant and that you like following what we say and do. I think this is what helped speed up your learning.

Some people think you are a smart boy. I do too! And I hope that you'll grow up smart and that you'll work hard to learn things. One of the things I learned in this life is that you can't rely on wisdom alone. You have to learn how to translate your wisdom into something tangible that you can take credit for. Only then can you make a difference. It's going to be a lot of work, but don't worry, Lucas. Your dad and I will guide you through it. For now, just continue exploring and learning as you go, just as you learned shapes and colors, the alphabet and numbers, and songs and rhymes in your second year.

Also in the last 12 months, you've given us a hint of the type of person that you are. I think you are a go-getter. You try so hard to get what you want (yet maybe all babies your age are like that). When we started weaning you off your pacifier, you cooperated with us. But you knew that your babysitter would let you have your binky during nap time when we were not around. So you pretended to be sleepy all the time so you can have it. You'd rush back to your bed after you say "bye-bye" to us as we leave for work in the morning, just so you can have your binky. As a result, we had to wean both you and your nanny!

You love being outside, even when it's cold. When you're not in a good mood, we'd simply take you outside to watch the birds and the cars go by, and you'll be fine. Now, you can name most of the common car brands just by looking at their logo. You enjoy going to the park, the beach and even our backyard. You love going to your swim class. You are my little jetsetter. Before you turned two, you've been in 12 flights and several long drives. Surprisingly, you behave so well when traveling. One time, a lady seated in front of us at a plane said she didn't even realize there was a baby behind her until we were waiting for our turn to deplane. Thank you, baby, for that. Thank you for not giving me a hard time.

People said you're going to be terrible at two. Well, you have been terrible sometimes. You sometimes get so clingy and you'll cry and cry and not tell us what you want. The second time we weaned you off your pacifier, so gave us such a difficult time. You would wake up in the middle of the night and just cry your lungs out. You've been naughty, you've thrown away things and food. You've slapped me and kicked me and pulled my hair. And we've tried on you every kind of punishment that we can think of--spanking on your butt, leg, hands and mouth, pinching, and quiet corner. Some of these don't work for you anymore. Remember, my son, that we never ever want to hurt you. We just can't let you be at times. You have to know when things aren't acceptable anymore because we want you to grow up knowing right from wrong. So if there is any way we can work this out so we won't ever have to hit you, let's do it. Know that we try so hard not to hit you.

So what's next for you, Lucas? I can think of two things right now--potty training and pre-school. I think potty training is going to be challenging because you are too comfortable with your diapers on. In fact, sometimes you won't let us change you even when you're diaper is full. I think you will love pre-school, but the challenge is for your dad and I to find the right school for you. I think you'll spend many more exciting days with your cousins, and you'll start making memories with them. We will travel and see places together. And maybe, hopefully, you'll finally step foot in the Philippines and perhaps even celebrate your third birthday there.

Lucas, anak, we have so much to thank God for. First and foremost, for keeping you safe and healthy this past two years, for keeping your dad and I safe so we may take care of you. I thank God that we found a wonderful and caring nanny who can watch you while your dad and I find a living. Without her, I would not have the flexibility to travel, to pursue a career and chase after some dreams. I thank God for giving us the opportunity to spend some time with Mamu (Lola) and Papi (Lolo) again. They are so fond of you, cousin Nathan and cousin Zach. They must miss you so much right now. Finally, I thank God for you, Lucas--you who have given us so much joy in our hearts and life in our home.

As I helped you blow the two candles on your birthday cake today, I silently made a wish for you--that you will continue to grow up beautifully and that you'll grow up knowing of our tremendous love for you. Happy Birthday, dear Lucas! I love you so, so much!

Mommy

23 going 24

2011-05-20T01:09:00.000-07:00

In a few days, Lucas will turn 2 years old. Wow--I still find it hard to believe that I now have a toddler. Although I have to deal with his being a toddler every single day.

Charles and I felt that Lucas has probably grown intellectually and psychologically more in the last two months than ever before. It's like he matured all of a sudden--almost overnight.

He explores a lot, but he seems to know what he wants.
He is tired of his toys and prefers to play with mommy and daddy's things.
He clings to mommy more than anybody else.
He met a new cousin, Zachary.
For the first time, he traveled alone with mommy--to Chicago and Missouri to meet cousin Zach.
He's a good traveler. He behaves well on the plane, eats, sleeps and just watches his movies. The lady in front of me said she didn't even know there was a baby on her back seat until we were about to deplane.
His communication is getting better and better everyday.
He has learned how to make "sumbong", like when cousin Nathan punches or pushes him or when cousin grabs his toys or things.
He knows how to trick us into getting what he wants, although he isn't always successful.
He lies on the floor and cries when he wants something and doesn't get it.
He got to use his binky (pacifier) again with the help of Grandma Nena (his nanny), who often lets him have his way.
We weaned him off the binky again, and this time we are committed to really getting rid of it (we need to keep it away from Grandma Nena too).
He has learned to say "Oh no!" and "Oh my goodness!"
Still loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. I think he'll go bananas when we take him to Disneyland.
He can now count 1-12 on his own.
He has memorized his bedtime prayer.

He is a good kid. Sometimes hard-headed, but aren't they all? I couldn't ask for a better kid. He brings us so much joy and energy even after a long, hard day at work. He now freely says "I love you, Mama" which melts my heart everytime.

As he turns two in a few days, I cannot help but be proud--proud of what Lucas has become and proud of what I have accomplished so far as a parent. It wasn't easy and I know it will only get harder, but at the end of the day I look at Lucas and I will always have something to smile about. And this is what matters to me the most.

Celebrating 22

2011-03-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

(Warning to readers: Really long post)

My dearest Talonglong,

Today, you turn 22 months old and here I am again writing you another letter. Don't you think this is a great idea? I used to just document your progress in Facebook and bullet them out here in my blog. But inspired by your Tita Jopie's letters to your Cousin Benjamin, I thought, "why not do the same?".

I think it's a good idea to do this so that someday--when you're old enough, you can read through my thoughts and realize how I feel about you and how important you are to me. Who knows how much longer I'll live? I certainly want to live long enough to be with you as you get older. But only God can really tell. So in the event that I don't live long enough to see you grow and be a man, have your own family and your own kids, I want you to have more of me through these letters. And I hope that maybe you'll even let me guide you as you journey through life, even if I'm not physically there.

At 21 months old, you have already made me and your dad very proud of what you have accomplished so far. You are a smart little boy who can now effectively communicate to us in ways that still surprise us up to this day. Your dad used to say that we shouldn't plan on taking you back to the Philippines or other places far until you are 2-3 years old and able to say what you need, ask questions, respond to us or tell us if you are not feeling fine. Well, you're not even 2 yet but you can now do all these things and more. You even stop me when you see me biting or chipping my nails, which is a really bad habit that until now I am still unable to overcome. You say "Stop mommy! Do not kuan nails!" It's funny how we're like swapping roles on those little moments. Needless to say, I think you are ready to come with us and see places when there is an opportunity. I'll remind your dad of that.

Many times you surprise us by naming things that we didn't even think you'd recognize or calling out people we didn't know you'd remember. Like this one day, I came home with a new phone and you said "iPhone!" when I haven't even told you what phone it is. And while looking at some photos in the computer, you yelled "Spiderman!" pointing to a photo of Cousin Benjamin's birthday cake with a Spiderman cake-topper. I think it was 5 months ago when you last saw Spiderman. I am so happy that you didn't forget. But what I am happier about is that you really know how to organize your thoughts now and express them. Earlier today, Grandma Nana told you to come with her to Stockton this weekend and that you should tell mommy and daddy that you want to come with her. Well, you responded to her "wa taw balay!" You cracked her up, and of course us too when we learned about it.

This month you got more and more comfortable with numbers. You can identify the numbers on your number cards and when you're in doubt, you know that you can count the objects on the card to determine what number you are looking at. You've also started counting things that you see, like the little batteries that you grab from Dad's desk, or your building blocks or other things you can get your hands on. Your dad has started teaching you how to count in Chinese, but I don't know how far you two will go with that. I do hope that you will learn it someday because your daddy really wants you to learn Chinese.

You are getting better with your swimming and you can now kick your legs and swim on your own with the help of a floater. But we still can't figure out why you can't make a balloon face. You don't close your mouth when you are underwater and so you end up drinking a fair amount of chlorinated liquid. But I am not giving up on you, my dear. As long as you enjoy going to swim class, I'll take you there week after week. You just tell me when you are not having fun anymore, ok?

You like being outdoors and now that winter is over, playing in the yard is something you look forward to everyday. When you're not in a good mood and we tell you "go outside?", you'd lighten up right away and let us take you out. On weekends, you like hanging out with your dad as he does his yard work. I think you will love nature and the outdoors when you grow up. I don't think you're going to be into sports, but you can now recognize what the different games are--basketball, baseball, volleyball, soccer and football.

We are not making a lot of progress with your potty training because you don't like it, but I think it's still early so I'm not so worried about that. But you need to be potty-trained before you go to preschool. Speaking of preschool, we have started looking at schools that you can go to because you are eligible to go to preschool starting this Fall. There are several schools in our area but choosing one that's best for you is more difficult than I expected. Your dad and I wish we can take you to a school in the city that has great reviews and a really good Chinese program, but it's going to cost us an arm and a leg, so I'm not sure we can make that happen. Know though that your dad and I are going to try all we can to give you only the best in terms of education. And keep in mind that good education doesn't always mean a good school.

One thing I worry about is the amount of time you spend watching TV. You watch TV with your Grandma Nana everyday for who knows how long. You are addicted to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and to make you happy, your dad even recorded some of those shows. In the past, you don't put a lot of attention on TV but that has started to change recently. I have to admit that we are partly to blame for this. Sometimes, we offer TV to you so we can do other things while you watch TV. I know this is not good and we'll do better going forward.

I did notice that what you like most about these shows is the music, the singing and the dancing and you very well remember the music. I love music too--so much that I was worried you'll end up tone-deaf like your dad, but I don't think you are. You play "name that tune" with me where I hum or whistle the tune and you'd tell me what song it is. It's pretty impressive, by the way! Your dad was amazed when you started guessing the songs right.

Your eating has improved. You like hotdog and lumpia, so we always have those on stock. But you seem to eat anything I serve these days so I'd like to think you like my cooking. I hope someday you'll appreciate that I cook our meals. Not all moms cook, you know--especially working moms. I want you to know that no matter how tired I am from work, I will make an effort to cook for you because I prefer to know what goes into the food you eat.

My dear boy, you have become a hard-headed one and many times you don't listen to me and Dad. You do things that we tell you not to do and sometimes I feel that you deliberately try and provoke us. In the early morning, you look for me or Dad and when Grandma Nana comes to see you, you shoo her away. You scream, you hit or throw things when we don't let you or give you what you want. And when we sit you down to talk to you and make you understand that what you did is wrong, you change the subject! How on earth did you learn to do that at such a tender age?

Despite your early display of some unpleasant attitude, you never fail to make us laugh. You are funny in your own little ways, and of course you don't know it. What I enjoy the most is seeing you dance and imitating your dad's actions. You really are a mini-version of him! Your dad and I enjoy watching you sleep. And although we made you sleep in your own room, somehow we are happy when we have guests so there is reason for you to sleep next to us. When you are sleeping next to us, your dad and I look like crazy dogs who just can't stop smelling you!

Dear Lucas, you achieved two great milestones on your 21st month:

First, you now sleep at night without the "binky". For the past 20 or so months, you have been dependent on it. Imagine my relief when you finally slept without it! It's been more than a week now and you've been fine. Son, you just gave me a reason to give myself a pat in the back. Thank you!

Second, you now drink from the cup all on your own. We still keep an eye on you to make sure you don't spill liquid on the floor. One time, you made your dad mad when you intentionally poured milk onto your feet, and you waited until he looked at you because you were just being silly. It's not so much the mess that we're worried about--it's making sure you don't slip by stepping on wet floor. Nevertheless, we are so proud of you for this achievement.

Lucas, I look at you now and I still can't believe how fast you've grown. I am still insecure about the fact that I am not taking care of you myself, that I go to work everyday and leave you in the care of someone else. It makes me sad sometimes but I overcome it by browsing through your old photos, reading my old letters and Facebook posts, and reminiscing our times together. For every photo I see, I remember what took place that day and then I say to myself, "I really didn't miss that much!"

So when you come up to me and wrap your little arms tightly around my neck, and you rest your head on my shoulders, or when you hand me that flower and say "I love you, Mama!"--I am reminded of the greatest privilege that I have ever been granted in this lifetime--being your mother. And you have no idea how happy that makes me!

I love you, Lucas! And thank you for giving us so much joy!

Mommy

Goodbye Binky

2011-03-20T00:22:00.000-07:00

We have been thinking about weaning Lucas off the pacifier or his "binky". We wanted to start doing it earlier, but we couldn't figure out an effective way to do it. We've tried just hiding it from him or telling him he's big enough to be using a binky. Nothing worked. He would just cry all night until we'd give it back to him.

Last week, we had a guest--friend of Charles and Lucas' godfather, Walter. He is here for business and staying with us for a few days. So we had Lucas sleep with us in our bedroom so we'd have an extra room for our guest. While putting Lucas to sleep, Lucas asked about Mamu and Papi and I told him they went to see Cousin Zach (my 2-week old nephew). Then I went on to say that Cousin Zach is a little baby and needs a binky but doesn't have one. And since he is now a big boy, it's time we should give the binky to Cousin Zach. Right away, Lucas took the binky from his mouth and handed it to me. I told him what a good cousin he is for sharing his binky and that Cousin Zach will be very happy.

It took Lucas a while to sleep that night--he just kept blinking his eyes and staring at the ceiling as if thinking long and hard about his decision. He tried asking for the binky twice before finally closing his eyes to sleep without it. You can imagine my relief when he finally fell asleep. I really didn't expect him to do that well the first time without a binky. I thought he would ask for it and cry until I'd give it back to him. But he didn't. He really knew what he was doing and I think he's ready to get rid of his binky and give it to somebody who needs it more--like his little cousin.

It's been four nights now and Lucas has been sleeping through the night without his binky. He would still ask for it during the day and I didn't want to give it to him because he'd know the binky is still there. But I gave up and gave the binky back to him when earlier today he refused to nap without it.

Guess we just have to take it slow for now. The trick seems to be working at night, but not so much during the day. I'm sure we'll get there eventually.

Meanwhile, we do have Cousin Zach to thank!

21 Today

2011-02-25T00:37:00.000-08:00

My dearest Lucas,

Today, you turned 21 months old. Only three more months and you'll be two years old. Wow, that was really fast! I haven't even lost all my "baby weight" yet (the weight I gained when I had you), and now you'll be two. That makes me feel really bad.

But hey, what more can I ask for when I have been blessed with an adorable, happy, healthy and smart little boy? Aside from your size, which really doesn't matter a ton to me, you have become everything that I have hoped for in a baby--thus far.

You've been more active than ever--always jumping, climbing, running around, rolling on the floor, you name it. And that is why even if you've been eating well this past month and drinking more milk than you used to, you're still skinny. You are getting taller though, month after month. You are now 33.5 inches tall. You're not a tall baby but your pedia says your growth has been consistent. That's good enough for me.

What I am most happy about is how much you've learned this past month. You've been so easy to teach because you like following what we say and do. And when you learn something new you keep repeating it and that's how you remember. You now recognize shapes and colors. It started with just your toys--your colorful shape sorters, where you put the pieces through their matching holes. Shortly after, you started naming each shape, and then you started identifying the colors. Now, you can even associate shapes and colors in things you see in the house--little rubber balls, square boxes, plates, pictures in your books, your other toys and the changing colors of the night-light in your room.

You now also read the alphabet. When I first started teaching you the alphabet, I flashed your alphabet cards in order. As soon as you started identifying most of the letters, I scrambled the cards and still you were able to identify them correctly. Maybe this is typical of a 20 month old, but I have to admit--I was very impressed at how fast you picked it up. Now you can also say the words represented by the letters in each card.

Your verbal communication is getting clearer and clearer and now you can construct sentences on your own. They're not well-constructed sentences--really more like phrases, but we can definitely understand you. You say things like "wala pa abot Papa", "drink milk Lucas", "sakit tummy Lucas", "Mama work Minnesota", "miss Papa Mama", "I love Papi, I love Mamu", and many others. Boy, you talk a lot! Sometimes I tell you to be quiet because your talking is non-stop. Sometimes you even talk in your sleep!

Little one, you entertain us a lot. You love to dance to pretty much any music you hear--even TV commercials. Your favorite is the iPad commercial--you'd stop whatever you do, you'd even stop crying and dance to it when it shows on TV. You like imitating what we do. You imitate and make fun of your cousin Nathan and how he speaks, but you adore him. You like to walk like Papa and pace back and forth while talking on the phone. You never fail to make us smile or laugh, especially when you are in a good mood. You see me on the computer a lot and so you like using the computer too. You now know how to use my Mac's remote to view slideshows of your photos. You love looking at our photos, even if you've seen them so many times.

You are so good with remembering people's names. I bet you're better at this than me. People like the fact that you call them whatever they want you to call them, just as you call Tita Lotlot "Tita Lolot Gwapa". You also call yourself "Lucas Gwapo". Papi (Lolo) gave you a nickname "Utitud" (black ant) because you are small but fast. You know that Mommy is "taga-Bohol", Papa is "taga-Cebu" and Lucas is "taga-San Rafael". I love the way you say "Bohol". You say it so perfectly with a very audible "h".

But like many other kids your age, you are starting to show an attitude--a bad one, unfortunately. You have some serious tantrums. You scream and wail and roll on the floor crying when you don't get what you want. You even hit or kick us when you are really upset. Your dad and I have spanked and punished you several times. We hate doing that, but we want you to know that hitting is never ok.

You do not want to be interrupted when you're playing so you'd scream and wiggle your way out of Grandma Nena's arms because you don't want her changing your diapers. You've become very clingy, especially to me. When I am around, you'd shoo your Grandma Nena away. Again, that is not ok. You have to keep in mind, my son, that Grandma Nena is a big part of your life now--whether you like it or not. She takes very good care of you while mom and dad are away at work. When you're older, I want you to be grateful to her because she cares so much about you, she treats you as her own grandchild.

Despite all these, I feel good about you, dear Lucas because I think you understand. You understand punishment and even when you're still crying because I just scolded you, you'd be running with your open arms and you'd hug me or my leg so tight the moment you start seeing me calm down. It's as if you already knew that mommy will never be mad at you.

Lucas, anak, we want you to be a good person when you grow up. So I hope you will soon understand why we won't tolerate your wrongdoings and why we won't let you have everything that you want. But you can rest assured that whatever you need, we will do our very best to provide--food, home, clothing, healthy and safe environment, education, values and most of all love.

We love you more than we can ever show you.

Tight hugs,
Mommy

Eating Again

2011-02-19T23:22:00.000-08:00

For several months now, I've been worried about Lucas not eating enough food--hence, missing some nutrients. He seems healthy because he hardly gets sick. But he is skinny and I wanted him to at least have a little bit of fat. I like chunky babies.

What worried me more is that he not only eats very little but he also doesn't drink enough milk. He used to chug milk when I was still breastfeeding him, but when I couldn't breastfeed him anymore, I couldn't get him to like any formula. I've been supplementing his dairy intake with yogurt, which he likes.

But when I started him with solids, I thought my problem was over. He was eating like a pig! He would eat pretty much anything I gave him, and he wouldn't stop eating until I stopped feeding him. But then he started getting picky...then pickier until it became quite a challenge to feed him. He was eating very little and drinking very little milk. I had to just stop worrying and accept that maybe that was all he could take and that maybe he is meant to be small.

Lately though, to my big surprise, he started eating a lot again. And drinking milk! He eats adult food now--rice, chicken, pork, fish, shrimp and some vegetables. He likes seafood more than chicken and red meat. He likes soup. He often has fruit for dessert and in addition to that eats a whole cup of yogurt after every meal.

And did I say he drinks milk now? We give him formula in the morning and whole milk the rest of the day. He drinks milk four times a day, a total of at least 20 ounces each day. He used to only drink 10-12 ounces. He also drinks a lot of water and some juice during his meals. As a result, he gained about 2 pounds in a week. That just made me a happy camper!

I don't know what changed or what motivated him to eat more. I don't know if it started when we left him at my sister's and he saw how much his cousin eats and how much Nathan chugs milk. Or maybe I'm cooking better food? Or maybe the vitamins he's taking has finally taken into effect and improved his appetite? I wish I knew.

Whatever it is, I hope it keeps Lucas eating this way. I am certainly enjoying this because I don't know how long this will last. I do hope this will last and that he continues to eat this way as long as he needs to.

The Bond

2011-02-19T19:44:00.000-08:00

We haven't been home this past three weekends, so in every one of those weekends Lucas would be sleeping next to us. He has to when we are in someone else's house. I somehow got used to it, so last night I wanted him to sleep next to me.

He just lay there for a little while, me thinking he would be dozing off shortly. But he couldn't sleep and shortly thereafter, he got up and said "sleep crib!" while pointing to his crib. "Are you sure?" I asked, but he kept asking me to move him back to his crib.

I have to admit--I was a little broken-hearted. How can he not want to sleep next to me anymore? He used to like it. I used to tuck him in next to me, in the bed, and just move him to his crib when he was already asleep because he didn't like sleeping there by himself. Now he's gotten used to it and would rather be there than next to his mom.

My little boy is growing up so fast. I hope there will not come a time when he won't want me or his dad in his room anymore. When he would rather be with his friends than with us. When he would rather go out than join us for a quiet dinner. When he would have too many activities that he can no longer come with us to church on Sundays.

There are things I cannot stop, like a child getting old and gaining his independence. But there are things I think I can do to keep us close and hold that bond that will keep him coming back to me no matter how far apart life takes us. And this, to me, is the greatest challenge of motherhood.

20 Amazing Months

2011-01-29T23:13:00.000-08:00

Lucas is without a doubt one of the smallest 20-month old there is. He is probably in the 5th percentile in terms of weight and around the 25th percentile in terms of height. This worried me before and it still worries me now. Not that I worry about his health, because he is healthy. He is very active and is hardly ever sick. I worry that he's small and that he might be bullied in school because of his size by those big, tall American boys. Ok--maybe I'm over-imagining things, but it could happen! It happened in my school. The little ones were bullied by the big ones. Luckily, I was one of the taller girls in class. But still, I got bullied for being too skinny.

He may not have gained much in size in the last 20 months, but he certainly gained some wits. He started speaking early. He loves books and flash cards and anything that has colors and pictures on it. He is very analytical. He observes what people do and learns what things are used for--like nailcutters are for clipping nails and that little thingy that we use to clean our ears--he puts it in his ear too. We got rid of his bottle early because he wants to use the cup or the glass like we do.

When he learns something new he keeps repeating them, that's why he remembers easily. He remembers people's names and recognizes them when he sees their photos. He is quick to follow actions, such as running like the Giants, walking like Papa, babbling like Cousin Nathan. He started understanding things early and responded to 2-step commands. Like we would ask him to "go pick that thing up and give it to Mama" and he would do it. He is a quick learner. We teach him one thing and he learns it right away--give it the same day for easy ones and maybe a couple to a few days for the hard ones. He can now read almost all the letters in the alphabet, sometimes missing only 3 or 4 letters.

His progress in the last 20 months has been amazing. I still wish he would eat more and drink more milk, but I can't complain about how he has developed. He makes me very proud (guess I'm just stating the obvious) ;-)!

I hope he grows up a bright boy. He might not get bullied afterall. Because he may be the smallest in class, but if he is one of the smartest, then that might just be enough to make him bully-proof!

Mommy's Promise

2011-01-21T23:59:00.000-08:00

Dearest Lucas,

I am so sorry, Anak, if I am always away. It breaks my heart to see you wave goodbye and throw flying kisses at me every morning when I leave for work. It breaks my heart even more when I have to travel and leave you for days. I feel so much guilt and sadness because I never would have wanted to leave you. But at this time, quitting my job and taking care of you myself does not seem to be a good choice either.

You see, my boy, God blessed mommy and daddy with careers--great careers that we are able to have roofs over our heads, food on the table, cars to help us get around, an opportunity to live in such a beautiful town, and most of all a means to get a wonderful Nana to help take care of you. We should be grateful for all these, and most of all we should be grateful that we are all healthy and we are together. There are a lot of families out there who do not see each other for months or even years. I can't imagine how it must be. I already struggle to be away from you for a couple of days. I don't think I can handle us being apart.

But here's one thing I can promise you, my boy--nothing will ever be as important to mommy than you! Wherever I am and whatever I'm doing, I will run to your side when you need me. You may have to give me some time, but I will be there. Your dad and I will take turns watching you, playing with you, teaching you lessons, reading to you, praying with you and putting you to bed. We will have a balanced life and you will always have at least one of us on your side. Please be patient with us, my boy and always be fond of us as we are so fond of you.

I promise to love you always, and I mean ALWAYS! I'm sure your daddy loves you too--more than anything in his world, more than me. Please remember that, my son.

Hugs and kisses,
Mama

19 Months

2011-01-21T23:39:00.000-08:00

Dearest Lucas,

When you were 18 months old, you were already talking like kids who are over 2 years old. I learned that because you talk better than those other kids in your swim class who are much, much older than you. I couldn't believe it when I asked their moms at the changing room how old their kids were. They were bigger--yes. But they could hardly express what they wanted. You could. And I couldn't help but be very proud.

Your pedia was amazed at how much you've learned at your tender age. She was amazed that you can identify and say your body parts. She kept pointing to her ears because she loved how you pronounced "ears" as "errs". You sound funny, but it doesn't matter how you sound because you're talking, and that's what matters to me.

Now, at 19 months, your progress has been so amazing--especially with your verbal communication. You are talking more and more. And your words are clearer. We are very careful now about what we say because you catch everything and you remember them. One time you were in the room with us while your dad was changing. I was admiring your dad and I told him he's sexy not minding that you were there. Suddenly, you started saying "Sexy Papa! Sexy Papa!"

You can now say all our names--Papa Charles, Mama Liza (although you say "Lisa"), Grandma Nena, Mamu Dydy (instead of Ludy), Papi Cardo, Tito Mane (instead of Mayel), Tita Lolot, Cousin Than. You also call Jacob "Cob", his mom "Winnie", cousin Benjamin "Bean", and Tita Jopie "Pie". You like imitating Cousin Nathan. You also imitate how your dad walks. You love your toy car and you can identify all its parts! You can now string three to four words and say them all straight. One time I was on the phone with you and you said "Hello Mama! Naa na Papa!". You told me your dad has arrived. I, on the other line, couldn't help my tears as I was listening to you speak.

Lolong, in no time, I think you're going to start asking me hundreds of questions and I cannot wait for that. Everyday, one of the things I look forward to is our lesson time. You are learning ABC fast. When you get things right, you clap your hands and when you make a mistake, you let out a silly laugh! You are such a little wonder and you are making me and your dad so proud! Keep growing little one and keep learning. Someday, you will realize that every little thing you learn from your books and from us will be of great use to you and will make school such an exciting place for you.

I love you, little Lolong! And oh, my favorite part of all--is when I tuck you in and you say "Nite, Mama! Lab Vu, Mama (Love You, Mama)! This completes my day.

Love,
Mama

My Little Sweet Boy

2010-11-07T00:31:00.000-07:00

My little sweet boy...

...now 17 months old,

he loves to run around and climb whenever and wherever he can.

He likes to repeat what he hears people say,

so he's learning to speak real fast!

He doesn't like to eat much now,

but when he likes something, he eats that a lot.

He still likes being outdoors,

and likes having other kids around.

He loves to hug and kiss!

He loves being with mommy,

in fact, he almost won't let anybody else but mommy put him to sleep.

He's still a darling to photograph,

his eyes almost disappear when he smiles,

and the sound of his giggles

always melts mommy and daddy's heart!

Hugs and kisses to you, my sweet boy!

And lots and lots of LOVE!!!

Little Minds

2010-10-19T22:20:00.000-07:00

He's still so little, but clearly he has a mind of his own and he's using it. He is learning more and more now. He appears to have logic and understands cause and effect.

He knows that when he flips the switch, something turns on and when he flips it again, it turns off. So that when he flipped an inactive switch and nothing happened, he gives me that curious look and says "Huh??? Huh???".

He's been saying a lot of words now--he imitates what we say and what he hears on TV and he remembers them. But I didn't think he understood the words. Now I think he understands most of them and he is able to connect and relate one word to another.

Yesterday, at around 5:00pm, he kept staring at the door as if expecting somebody to come in. He kept saying "Papa! Papa!" Aah...it was about time for his dad to come home. His Nana then asked him "what's your papa's name?" And he said "Chas!"

He has also started becoming so attached to me. Lately, he won't let his dad put him to sleep. It has to be me. When I'm around, he won't play with his Nana. He keeps tailing me and follows me like a little puppy even to the bathroom. And when I shut the door on him, he gets really upset. I used to not have any problems working from home. But now, it's been a challenge.

Oh, the adventures of parenthood! Sometimes it tests my sanity, other times it's the most fun thing of all! Nevertheless, I still wouldn't trade it for anything!

Throwing Tantrums

2010-09-30T00:48:00.000-07:00

Lucas, at 16 months, is now seriously throwing tantrums. He's been showing some not-so-cute behaviors for months now--climbing up the back rest of the couch or the sofa table (especially when he knows we're looking), throwing away stuff, screaming and crying when he doesn't get what he wants. But lately, it has gotten a little worse and I feel that he actually knows what he's doing and he does it on purpose.

So sometimes, when he can't have this way, he would scream and cry and roll on the floor. I don't know how he learned to do this, but when he does it we would not pick him up. We'd let him cry and he eventually stands up and hugs our legs. Other times, he would just want me and not his dad and when I go away, he would wail and cry so hard. He wouldn't let anyone touch him and he would throw away anything he sees nearby that he can pick up. And the wailing would actually last a good 20 minutes or so.

Some people at work told me that I should just let him be because it's normal and it's too early to enforce discipline. I know this is normal at his age, but I don't think I should just let it be. I don't think it's too early to discipline and I feel that something needs to be done about these behaviors. I've got to stop them, maybe gradually, but somehow I've got to nip them in the bud.

Consistency I think is key. If we were consistent about how we respond to these behaviors, then I think it will help him know right from wrong. Question is--are we in synch? I think the dad and I are in synch. I'm not so sure about Nana.

Croup

2010-09-20T23:28:00.000-07:00

I am afraid that what I'm afraid was going to happen is happening. Does that even make sense?

The last time we were at my sister's, Nathan got sick. He had croup--a respiratory disease very common in kids, characterized by harsh, barking cough. What's different between this and a regular cough is that you don't continuously cough. It gets better during the day and gets worse at night. Nathan would be playing and active all day as if he wasn't sick at all, and would be miserably crying at night probably because his throat was hurting.

I was afraid Lucas would get it too, but it was too late to leave. We were already there a day before Nathan got sick, so Lucas had already been exposed to the virus. What made it worse is that Lucas kept chasing, hugging and kissing Nathan. Also, we had to leave him there. Both Charles and I needed to travel early that week and Lucas was going to stay with my sister and her family.

A week has passed since Lucas got home and he's fine. I was happy. I thought it's been long enough and he's not getting the disease. But lately, I noticed that his voice is starting to get scratchy, his temperature would sometime rise and he would cough at night. It's not as bad as how Nathan was but he is starting to display some symptoms.

I'm still hoping he didn't get the disease. He's still very active and behaving just like he normally would. If not for the slight change in his voice and the occasional coughing, I would not worry.

I really hope he gets spared. When he's sick, we're all miserable!

***

Photo: Nathan--not looking sick at all. His hair was getting so long I decided to tie it. He looked funny!

Good Baby

2010-09-18T02:00:00.000-07:00

When Lucas misbehaves, he knows it. Sometimes, before we could even react he would say, "Bad Baby!". And he says it with a very earnest look that instead of getting mad, the dad and I would just quietly laugh, and we'd remind him, "no, you're a good baby!".

I don't know if I will ever really be mad at him. One time I was changing his diapers and he wouldn't stay still. So I gave him the look. He didn't like it so he hit me in the arm, and then he hit me on the face. I acted like I was so angry. I said to him "you can't do that to mommy!" in a raised voice. I just stood there and gave him a very angry look. When he saw me mad, he stood up on his diaper changer, threw his arms around my neck, hugged me tight and said "Ma-ma"!

Well, what else can I do but hug him back?

Ugh, how can these kids be so adorable yet manipulative? He's definitely got me and the dad wrapped around his little fingers! But we at least try not to let him know.

Big Cousin Nathan

2010-09-18T01:16:00.000-07:00

Lucas is so fond of his big cousin, Nathan. When Nathan is around, Lucas gets super excited. He would keep chasing Nathan and when he catches him, he would hug him and kiss him until Nathan gets annoyed and pushes him away. Lucas doesn't mind getting pushed away, as long as it's cousin Nathan.

I don't know if it's because he doesn't often see other kids around. He doesn't go to daycare, so most of the time he is with us, adults. Maybe he gets overwhelmed with excitement when he's with other kids his age. He is friendly with other kids too, but he is just way too clingy with Nathan.

Nathan, on the other hand, gets his revenge when Lucas is strapped to the high chair and can't chase him. He would pull Lucas' leg, touch his head and pull his ears. But Lucas enjoys it!

I think Lucas is going to want a brother someday, I don't know. Or maybe he won't if Nathan stays close. I'll worry about it later. For now, I just want to enjoy them because they are just way too cute at this age!

Beyond Words

2010-09-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

Lucas can also now express himself through actions. He started doing so when he was about 9 months old. He could already kiss then, but we were almost sure that at that time, he didn't really know what he was doing.

Now I think he understands and he's becoming more and more consistent in acting out what you ask him to do.

He can do "peek-a-boo". He raises his arms when you say "Winner!" and does this when he finishes his meals. He claps his hands when you say "clap" or "very good". He waves his hands when you say "bye". He can give a flying kiss and also kisses you when you ask him to. He can give a high-five and touches his point finger with yours when you say "a line". He hugs when you say "hug" or whenever he likes to hug.

He points to his nose when you say "where's your nose?" but he has yet to distinguish between his eyes, ears and mouth. He gives you what he has in his hands when you ask for it, but he will take it back if it's something he likes.

He does not like it when people laugh. He thinks we're laughing at him and he would start crying. You'd have to tell him you're not laughing at him to make him stop crying. He also cries over sad songs. I don't know why but he would sob if you don't stop singing. Just sing happy songs and he'll be fine.

But among other things, the sweetest thing he does is having me and his dad kiss each other. When we are both close to him, he would push our heads together so we'd kiss. When we kiss he'd smile and he does it again...and again...and again.

Words

2010-09-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward to the time when Lucas can talk. Imagine how much easier it would be to just simply ask him what he wants or what's wrong instead of having to figure it out yourself?

Well, he's on his way to talking and he's learning fast. He now has a few words. He says them consistently and he knows when to say them so I'd like to think that he knows exactly what they mean.

His words are a good mix of English and Cebuano, which is expected since we speak Cebuano at home. I'm not worried about English at all because I know he'll eventually learn it one way or another.

At 15 months, Lucas can now say the following words well (although some he has yet to properly pronounce):

Daddy
Papa
Mommy
Mama
Bad Dede (means "bad baby")
Pig
Dog
Bird
Guba (break - he says this when he breaks his toys)
Kuha (get)
Kakat ("katkat" or climb)
Uli (return)
Throw
Kiss
Cheers
Amen (he says this in church, following everybody else saying "amen")
Happy (the newest word he learned to speak and he loves saying it)

The last time we went to his pediatrician, she was amazed at how much Lucas can now say. He's a small baby--smaller than most babies his age, but I think he will grow up a smart one like his dad. I really hope so.

Sweet 14

2010-08-05T00:31:00.000-07:00

He has changed--a lot! Now, at 14 months, he is drinking milk again but he's becoming really picky with food. Since he started eating solids at 6 months old until a month ago, he would just eat pretty much anything we give him. Well, not anymore! Even his favorite yogurt is no longer a hot commodity.

He's gotten taller but still skinny. I find it just ok. I like that he's not too big because I can easily dress him up. He looks good in cute little jeans and T-shirts and even looks cute on shorts despite his skinny legs. My cousin J joked that I should get him skinny jeans! That I would not dare go for, or his dad would probably think I'm crazy! Also, I don't want to give Lucas any reason to hate me when he gets older.

He's walking faster and faster everyday and he loves to walk. He loves being outside. It makes him happy! He loves having other kids around--I think because he doesn't always see them. He's with adults almost all the time. When Nathan is around, Lucas is like a little dog chasing his master. Nathan would sometimes get annoyed. When Benjamin came to visit last weekend, Lucas kept kissing him!

There's one thing that hasn't changed much though. He still remains a jolly little man who smiles big and giggles a lot! You make a funny face and he will turn red laughing! And this, this alone continues to melt my heart.

***

Photo 1: Lucas at 14 months--getting ready for an early morning walk.

Photo 2: Lucas out and about.

Sick

2010-07-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

Lucas got sick for the first time this week. Well, he had episodes of vomiting before but that was because I gave him something that his tummy didn't like. I wouldn't consider that getting sick.

He started coughing last Tuesday night. We thought it was nothing and that it would just go away. But come Wednesday morning, his voice became husky and he was coughing more. I decided to work from home that day and glad I did because he started becoming miserable. That night, he developed fever and it went on until Thursday night. Thursday, we brought him to his doctor, who said that it could just be some virus and it will go away. Over here, they don't give babies medication unless they have something really serious.

For two nights, Lucas was miserable! He was waking up literally every hour or more often than that. He had trouble breathing and he wouldn't take his pacifier because he was breathing from the mouth. He had trouble sleeping, and as expected we were awake almost the entire evening too.

He is better now. His fever went away on Friday and he has started eating the same way he used to. He is still coughing and has runny nose, but he pretty much got his energy and his smiles back. Charles keeps saying "nag-kiat na sad ug balik".

Having Lucas sick really got me thinking. I thought the first few nights after he came home was difficult. I was sore from giving birth and yet I have to wake up every 2-3 hours because that's how often he would eat. But if I call that difficult, this would be far worse--he was waking up every hour, he would cry hard each time and the hardest part is, there was nothing I could do to make him comfortable. We were all helpless and frustrated.

My mom would always tell my sister and I to be really careful about where to take and what to feed the boys. She would always say, "the hardest times of parenthood are when the kids get sick, so avoid it if you can...". As it turns out, she was right!

***

Photo: Lucas' first bath after his fever went away

Skinny Baby

2010-04-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

We reduced Lucas' food intake after the vomiting episodes last week. It's been a week now and we still haven't given him his usual amount--doctor's suggestion. So in a week's time, he lost weight--more or less 2 pounds.

I had to go away. I was scheduled for a business trip to New York this week and I was going to cancel it because I worried about Lucas. But I started feeling off-color myself and I thought, it's better to be sick and away than be sick and home with my son.

Now I'm home and we're both feeling a lot better. He's been eating fine and we have started increasing his food intake and getting him back to his regular diet. Hope he picks up some pounds soon.

How Could I?

2010-04-18T23:37:00.000-07:00

I've always been a really careful mom, especially because I'm new to this role and I don't pretend to know everything there is to know about motherhood. I never took chances. I followed rules by the book and every bit of doctor's instructions in terms of feeding, bathing and all other activities involving the baby.

Lucas has been receptive to anything. He would eat pretty much anything we give him. And because of that, I may have taken the rules for granted a bit. Yesterday, I made the biggest mistake of giving him "binignit"(a.k.a. ginataan or sweet vegetable stew) which he really liked, by the way. I hesitated because it had coconut milk on it. But since he liked it, I went ahead and gave him some. And I gave him more, and more at every meal.

Today, he couldn't stop throwing up. Of course, I stopped giving him "binignit" but now, whatever he eats he lets them all out. He is still active and he seems ok. He doesn't look like he's in any pain. He finishes his food, but then he throws up afterwards.

I blame myself for all this. I can't help but ask--how could I be so careless and stupid? This is my baby I'm talking about! And even if he was some other baby, I still should not have given him anything that I wasn't sure was harmless. Even many adults don't take coconut milk very well, how much more babies?!

He is resting right now--he's a little warm but sleeping soundly. We're keeping a close eye on him and hoping he's going to be ok when he wakes up.

As for me, I swear to stick by the rules from now on. I'll be a psycho-mom if I have to, but I'm never, ever taking chances again!

***

Photo: Taken this afternoon--Lucas playing with his cousin, Nathan. Lucas has been like that today--active and smiling, until after he eats.

The Perfect 10

2010-03-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

Today, Lucas turns 10-months old!

He is my perfect little boy. He doesn't give us any grief. He can be difficult sometimes--he doesn't drink a lot of milk, he screams when he's hungry, he cries when we leave him alone while he's playing in his room, and sometimes it takes forever to put him to sleep. But he's just being a baby, he does what he's supposed to do.

But I say that he's my perfect little boy because so far he has brought us nothing but perfection. He has made us perfectly happy--he completed us! He has, so far been perfectly healthy--the one thing I am so grateful for. He puts a smile in our faces with his tiny sweet smiles and he rejuvenates us and restores our energy even after a long, exhausting day at work.

We had a life before him--a good one, I must say. But for the last ten months, we had an even better, happier life and it's all because of him!

Kiss

2010-03-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

Clapping or waving or closing and opening of the hands or even blinking of the eyes (beautiful eyes) are the most common things that babies learn how to do first. But not for Lucas. The first thing he learned to do and follow (when told to do so) is kissing.

When you tell him to kiss mommy or daddy or somebody, he leans forward and presses his face or forehead against yours. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but he does it every time he is told to kiss and he does it consistently, which makes me think that he understands. He knows what kissing is and he knows what to do when asked to kiss.

This amazes me but it doesn't surprise me at all. There's a lot of kissing around the house. Mom and dad kiss quite a bit. We both kiss Lucas a lot and when I kiss him, I tell him what I'm doing. I'd say to him "kiss mommy beh!" and I guess he just learned how to follow.

Now, I want to start teaching him sign language so he can start communicating to us even before he starts to speak. Wouldn't it be nice if he can tell us what he thinks or how he feels? When he's hungry or tired or sleepy? I'd be a happy camper if he does that!

***

Photo: Lucas kissing his cousin, Benjamin.

Got Milk?

2010-03-15T16:51:00.000-07:00

After nearly three weeks of drought, Lucas finally finished a bottle of milk again! He only finished 4 oz. of milk as opposed to his usual 7 oz., but this was definitely better than nothing.

Nearly three weeks ago, Lucas just suddenly stopped drinking milk. For about two days, he started by not finishing his 7 oz-bottle. He would only take half. On the third day, he completely rejected milk.

We couldn't figure out why. We thought he got tired of the taste and I heard this is pretty common for babies his age, but could be easily resolved by changing the brand of his formula. So we tried two other brands of formula, but that didn't work. We thought maybe he got tired of his bottle, so we introduced a sippy cup--that didn't work either. Then we thought maybe he's teething (he's got two right now but there should be more coming out), and the sucking gives him discomfort. But then he sucks his binky alright, and in fact, he can't sleep without it. We are running out of diagnosis and still don't know what his problem is, so we just kept trying and wasted a lot of milk in the process.

He is now only sustained by solids--at least he still eats. But he has really gotten skinny and often gets constipated due to his lack of liquid intake.

Last night, I tried again and gave him a 4 oz-bottle of milk. We've scaled down from 7 oz. to 4 oz. since this happened to minimize the waste. And walah! He drank and finished the whole thing! This morning, his nanny gave him another 4 oz-bottle and he finished it again. I hope he gets back his appetite for milk. It worries me that he doesn't have enough liquid in his body and he is missing all the nutrients that the formula offers. Then again, we can only keep trying.

Lucas Turns 9

2010-02-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

NOTE TO READERS: Sorry for back-dating this post. I've had this in my drafts for weeks, but never got the chance to post it. However, I'd like to keep it in my journal so I'm posting it now.

Lucas turned 9 months old on February 24. I can't believe it's been 9 months. The pain of labor and delivery and the recovery from it are still very fresh in my memory. I can still feel the fatigue of waking up every 2-3 hours to either feed him or pump out breast milk when I engorge. And for those who often see me, you'll agree that I haven't lost all the weight that I gained during pregnancy--in fact, I still have most of it.

But no matter how surreal this may seem, it really has been 9 months since I had Lucas.

So how has my Lucas been after 9 months?

He's been crawling, and he can do it really fast. Afterall, he's been crawling for almost three months now.
He can sit up straight and has learned how to balance. I can let him sit in the handles of his little push bike (well it's not necessarily a bike because it has 4 wheels on it, but I don't know what to call it) and he doesn't fall.
He can stand up on his own with little or no support.
He can move from one place to another by taking small steps and holding on to stuff, but he can't walk yet.
He's got two lower teeth.
He's had two haircuts. The oldies back home are not happy--they said babies should not have their first haircut until they're at least a year old.
He's been eating solid food and he likes it. He likes soup of any kind with rice cereal and some chunks of meat. He likes fish too!
He loves Yogurt!
He loves being in the kitchen, especially if we are there. He's so curious of the dishwasher--he watches really closely as his dad loads the dishwasher with dirty dishes.
He's a little impatient. He wants to be fed fast and he screams when I'm slow (I feed him slowly when I'm watching TV while doing it).
He doesn't like watching TV. When we put him in front of it, he would watch a little and look away after a minute or less--longer if he sees something interesting on the screen.
He babbles a lot. He can only say "dada" or "deee" or "babababa" or "anggi", but this little man can make some serious noise.
He likes it when I read to him before bedtime. Although he doesn't understand a thing, he smiles and laughs when I read to him. He likes his Curious George books more than his Baby Einstein books.
His Eczema rashes have faded. Sometimes they reappear, but it has gotten more manageable.
He has his ways of communicating what he wants--he lifts his arms when he wants us to carry him and he wiggles when he wants us to put him down. He shakes his head when he doesn't like what we're giving him, and he pulls off his bib when he's done eating. However, he never tells us when he's hungry (maybe he's never hungry?) and he never complains about being wet or having dirty diapers.
He prefers to sleep next to us rather than in his crib. This is bad.
He can kiss--the first thing he has learned how to do (apart from eating and being mobile). More about this in another blog.
He is looking more and more like his dad.

My Lucas is growing up so fast, and there's just no stopping him.

Real Food

2010-02-19T00:20:00.000-08:00

Three weeks ago, Lucas had his first taste of real chicken and he loved it. Since then, I've been putting shredded chicken meat on his cereal. Today, he had fish for the first time and he liked it too!

I was a little nervous about giving him seafood. Some pediatricians recommend not giving babies seafood, especially shellfish until they're one year old. But considering that Nathan had fish as early as six months old, I thought it would be ok. I wasn't sure about how Lucas would like fish. I was afraid he would not like the smell at all. On the contrary, he really did like it and he ate more than he normally would.

Now it's getting harder to feed him with something from the jar. He seems to dislike baby food now that he's had real food! On the flip side, he will now get to taste mommy's cooking and I hope he will enjoy his meals as much as I will certainly enjoy preparing them.

Christian

2010-02-17T21:56:00.000-08:00

Lucas had his first experience of Lent today. We brought him to church for Ash Wednesday and like any of us who got ashes in our forehead, he got it too!

When he's big enough to learn, I want him to understand what all these mean. And it is my responsibility to impart to him such knowledge. Schools here don't normally teach Religion, unless it's a Catholic school so I have to be prepared to teach Lucas myself in case we can't send him to Catholic school.

I have been teaching him how to pray before putting him to sleep. He doesn't understand it but he likes it when we pray. He enjoys listening to me recite "Angel of God". He clasps his hands and he giggles.

First Valentines

2010-02-14T22:06:00.000-08:00

Today, we celebrate

We celebrate a vow

A promise, a commitment

We celebrate joy, fulfillment

And the realization of a dream

We celebrate a gift,

The greatest one we ever got

We celebrate life and love

Today is Valentines Day

And it is a good day

to celebrate...

...HIM!

Lucas-Proofing

2010-02-10T21:36:00.000-08:00

Almost everyone who comes to visit us has asked if we have started baby-proofing the house. Lucas has been crawling for about two months now and he has been trying to walk. Ideally, we should have started baby-proofing before he became mobile but until now we haven't done any of that.

I thought at first that there won't be a need. I thought that since we have a live-in nanny who's only job is to watch him, then there won't be that risk of him falling or sticking his fingers on an electrical outlet or opening the kitchen cabinet and getting access to cleansers and chemicals. But even so, it is impossible for her [or us for that matter] to watch him all the time. And even if we watch him like a hawk, there's always going to be that risk. Accidents can happen.

So we started baby-proofing by buying a fence. There is so much to fence. We want to put a fence on the entry way to the kitchen, we want to put a fence around our audio-visual system because he now knows to push buttons on the cable box or DVD player--he is attracted to everything that lights up. Eventually we're going to have to fence the pool. Glad we don't have staircases so I have one less thing to worry about.

They said things get easier as the baby gets older. Somehow that's true, but on the other hand, there also appears to be more and more things to consider.

Li'l Dude Gets A New 'Do

2010-02-09T21:58:00.000-08:00

Charles wanted to shave off his hair. They said shaving off makes hair thicker. I disagreed. I asked that we keep his hair a few centimeters long.

So we brought him to a salon for babies and kids called "Panda Room". But since we didn't have an appointment and there were so many customers, they could not accommodate us. We booked an appointment for next weekend and headed home.

The following day, I felt the urge to give him a haircut myself. I thought that if we were going to cut his hair too short, we might as well do it ourselves. Charles has an electronic razor that has attachments for haircut--all you need to do is set the length, run it though the head and it will cut hair depending on your desired length.

It worked. Charles gave Lucas his second haircut while I held him and tried to keep him calm.

So how do you like Lucas new 'do? :-)

A Week Without Lucas

2010-02-03T21:29:00.000-08:00

My job requires that I travel occasionally. Lately though, "occasionally" has turned into "quite a bit". I traveled to three different cities this past two weeks and didn't see Lucas for an entire week. It was, by far, the longest time I was away from him since his birth.

I have to admit that despite knowing that I will miss Lucas, I too was looking forward to the trips. I was looking forward to nights alone in a hotel without having to wake up in the middle of the night to change Lucas' diaper or feed him. But halfway during the trip, I already found myself aching to go home and yearning to be with my son.

It was difficult. I couldn't sleep and I still ended up waking in the middle of the night. I missed my son terribly!

Next time, if my trip lasts for more than 3 days, Lucas comes with me!

Restless

2010-01-30T00:20:00.000-08:00

Lucas is getting more and more fidgety by the day. It's so hard to change his diapers now because he can't stay still. He rolls over, then sits, then stands up, and even tries to crawl his way off the changing table! Charles and I would often do it together--one of us changes his diaper while the other holds him down. And still it's not easy. I wonder how his elderly nanny does it during the day.

When I carry him, he keeps twitching and squirming, as if trying to break free. But if we put him down, he would scream, sometimes cry and ask to be carried again. He would also climb up to my shoulders using my tummy and my boobs as his steps. Yeah, it hurts!

Now it's time to really baby-proof the house because what comes next is even more challenging. Pretty soon, we'll be chasing after him!

Finally, A Tooth!

2010-01-26T00:02:00.000-08:00

I started to worry. At almost 8 months old, Lucas still didn't have any tooth. My nephew had teeth when he was six months old. A colleague's baby had his when he was four months. Another colleague's baby is 2 months younger than Lucas, yet she's had teeth since a couple of months ago.

I heard most babies get sick when they're teething. Lucas has never been sick so I thought maybe it's really not time for him to have teeth yet. But why this late? I thought he was an early bloomer--having crawled at six months and standing up straight at seven. But when it comes to teeth, he's no early bloomer at all.

Then finally, yesterday morning I fed him pieces of chicken with my bare hands. He tried biting my finger and I felt something sharp. I checked, and there it was--some tiny white thingy sticking out of his gums! Lucas finally had his first tooth, just before he turned eight months old!

Standing up

2010-01-17T00:42:00.000-08:00

For the first time today, Lucas stood up on his own! I did not witness it, but Charles did.

I tried to put him to bed, but he wasn't sleepy yet so he got up, sat in his crib and started playing. I left him there. He normally would just fall asleep when he gets sleepy.

A few minutes later, Charles went to his room to check on him and there, Charles found him standing on the corner of his crib trying to grab the baby monitor that was placed on top of the dresser next to his crib.

Lucas managed to pull himself up! Charles was so shocked at what he saw, he exclaimed "Hala!" and frightened Lucas.

I think Lucas is pretty advanced when it comes to his mobility skills. Today, I read this at Babycenter.com: "Your baby is now 7 months old. As your baby's muscles are becoming stronger, he's apt to lunge forward onto all fours from a sitting position. He may go into a "precrawl" exercise, rocking back and forth on hands and knees with his trunk parallel to the floor." Well, Lucas was already doing this a month ago and this was exactly what I wanted to describe him do in this blog.

I am happy to see these early signs of mobility in him. At least I know his muscles are strong. I was a little worried about this part because he drinks less milk than he's supposed to.

Tech-y

2010-01-09T23:12:00.000-08:00

I think my baby is growing up a geek. He loves electronics!

Anything that lights up and has buttons interests him. He would ignore his toys if he sees a phone or a remote control. He likes pounding on a keyboard. He stares at the computer with utmost curiosity. Of all the things in his room, he seems to be most interested in the baby monitor--he likes playing with it.

When he sees me with my camera, he smiles! And I think that's because he is amazed at the camera and the light that flashes from it, not because he understands that I am taking his photo. Well, at least it helps me take photos of him smiling!

First New Year

2010-01-08T23:01:00.000-08:00

This was Lucas' first New Year celebration. We planned to just stay home, have a nice dinner and watch the New York ball-dropping ceremony on TV. But Charles decided to invite a few friends over. They were Filipino trainees at his work, who didn't have their families here to celebrate with. I'm glad they came. We had fun and they stayed way past midnight. We just chatted, ate, watched TV and did a little karaoke.

As for Lucas, he tried his best to stay awake. I tried to put him to bed around 10pm, but he wouldn't sleep. He is like that when there are people around. He doesn't want to go to sleep, as if afraid he would miss out on all the fun. So I thought, "that's fine! Maybe it's also a good thing that he's awake to meet the new year". Sadly, he fell asleep just 10 minutes before the strike of midnight!

This is his very first 2010 photo...

On New Year's Day, we went to a friend's place for Sunday Brunch. It was awesome! I got to give myself a break on the holiday cooking! I love to cook, but sometimes it's nice to be the one enjoying somebody else's cooking! The food was good, the company was even better!

On New Year's day, Lucas has the chance to play with other kids. He is the youngest of these three little boys--Matthew (at the back) is 2 years old, Enzo (right) is 11 months.

Seven

2010-01-08T22:33:00.000-08:00

Lucas is now seven and a half months old, and he has changed so much! I am amazed at how some things seem to happen overnight. He seems to understand us better. When we talk to him, he would stare at us and listen--as if he understands what we are talking about. When Charles and I are talking, he would also stare at us and listen like a "chismoso" would. He also now knows how to raise his hands when he wants us to pick him up. He knows how to want to be part of a conversation by babbling while we talk, and raising his voice if we don't listen. He also does not want to go to sleep when he sees that we are still doing something--either watching TV or on our computers.

He is now more coordinated and can crawl faster.

What's not great right now is that he won't stay still. He moves so much and he always wants something to do. Nanny has started complaining that it's getting harder and harder to change his diapers.

I wonder what's next...

Celebrating Motherhood

2010-01-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

I celebrated my 34th birthday today--my first birthday as a mom!

When my mom was 34 years old, she already had all three of us--my sister, me and my brother. Now, at 34, I've just become a mom.

I didn't have big plans for the day. I didn't even think about skipping work. But a few days ago, I thought to myself, "it's my first birthday as a mom, and what better way to celebrate it than to spend the day with my son". And that's just what I did!

At 34, I became a mom, and motherhood is the best birthday gift I've had in my 34 years!

Took Lucas to the kids play area at a mall nearby. It was too cold to go to the park. Excuse the blurry photo--taken with a cellphone camera.

Fall-like Winter

2010-01-03T11:50:00.000-08:00

It was a beautiful winter morning! The sun was up and the air wasn't as chilly as it normally is this time of year.

So right after we got home from church, I brought Lucas out to the front lawn. I couldn't resist the bright colors of the maple leaves that fell to the ground and covered the grass. I just had to take a photo of Lucas sitting on the ground. The combination of green, browns, oranges and red made everything look vibrant.

It looked like Fall, it felt like Fall! It was nice to have a day like this in the middle of the winter!

First Christmas

2009-12-25T00:41:00.000-08:00

It's our first Christmas with little Lucas...

Photo taken by my cousin, Jopie

...and that's what made Christmas this year even more special!

Now Crawling

2009-12-19T13:05:00.000-08:00

Lucas is now starting to crawl. He still can't move that fast but his mobility has improved a lot. He still crawls like a seal. He uses his elbows to pull himself while dragging his tummy and his legs. Sometimes he moves backwards. His upper body is stronger than his lower body at this time.

He has started bending his knees and doing the "dog-stand", but when he does that he just poses and doesn't move. I think pretty soon he will learn how to coordinate his arms and legs. It will only be a few weeks before he is able to crawl around.

Sitting Up

2009-12-15T23:37:00.000-08:00

At six months old, Lucas has started sitting up without support. A few days ago, he would sit by himself for just a few seconds and then he would topple down. But today, he sat still next to the Christmas tree, and he sat there by himself for a long time! I thought the sight was picture-perfect, so knowing that he was sitting on the carpet and that he wouldn't hurt himself if he fell, I left him there to get the camera. I expected him to be lying on the floor when I get back, but no--he was just sitting there, gazing at the tree, smiling and looking so amazed at the sight of the flickering lights!

I can't believe he's growing up so fast. Sometimes it seems surreal. I don't want him growing up that fast. It's hard to enjoy moments when they go by so quickly.

First Tree

2009-12-08T23:23:00.000-08:00

Today, I finished decorating our Christmas tree. We actually put it up a week ago, but I didn't get to complete it until today. What made it even more complete is that I was able to take photos of Lucas sleeping next to it. He was looking on while I, with the help of Nang Nena (Lucas' nanny) decorated the tree. He was already asleep by the time we finished.

This is Lucas' first Christmas tree. I put it up with a wish that as Lucas grows up, he will love Christmas as much as I do.

Brunching Out

2009-12-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

Today, Lucas experienced his first Sunday Brunch outside of our own dining room. We went to see a friend and his family in Berkeley and took Christmas photos with them.

After less than an hour of photoshoot, we proceeded to Claremont Resort and Spa for brunch. That place is a crown jewel! It's a resort in Berkeley Hills, nicely situated on top of the hill overlooking the San Francisco bay. The place is also a historic landmark--it's over a hundred years old but it's nicely renovated. They kept the old feel of the place, but it's very elegant, classy, festive and extraordinary! The food was really good too! And they threw in some holiday spirit by having a choir entertain the guests with Christmas carols.

I did not even know that place existed, but now that I do I'll definitely be going back. As for Lucas, he was in his best behavior the whole time. I know he likes going out, but he loved this place!

Fading

2009-12-02T22:08:00.001-08:00

My son's eczema rashes are now disappearing. What helped? Aveeno Soothing Oatmeal Bath Treatment (this really is soothing--I soaked myself in this when I had chicken pox and it really helped with the itching) and Aveeno Anti-itch Cream.

Lucas was born with Eczema, a skin disease also known as Skin Edema primarily caused by dryness and ultra-sensitive skin. I was told that Eczema is very common to Asian babies here in the US because our skin type sometimes doesn't do very well in dry, cold weather.

He's been having rashes in his face and arms. Sometimes they fade and sometimes they flare up. There is no guaranteed cure for eczema. Doctors here will tell you that the rashes will disappear in its own time--for some it will go away after a few months, for some it will stay for years. What we can do is just moisturize the skin and apply some anti-itch cream so that baby won't keep scratching the infected areas and cause the rashes to blister or bleed. And then we just hope that it will eventually disappear completely.

Lately, the rashes have faded and there's less and less of it everyday. The Aveeno bath products and the new brand of anti-itch cream that we just introduced seems to be working well for him. I really hope this disease will be over for him soon.

First Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T21:53:00.000-08:00

It's Lucas' first Thankgiving, and so this makes the holiday extra special for us. We have so much to celebrate! Having Lucas alone is the one thing we are very thankful for. We are also thankful that he is healthy so far and hope that he will stay that way. He has been a good baby--he doesn't cry as much and hasn't given us a lot of grief, especially in terms of sleep. At 6 months old he has been sleeping straight for 6-8 hours, giving Charles and I the opportunity to get enough sleep so we can get some work done during the day.

Lucas,

Happy Thanksgiving, dear son! If you weren't around, things would have been fine, but now that you are with us, things are way better, way happier! You have no idea how grateful I am to have you in my life! I wouldn't trade you for anything!

Love,

Mommy

Just A Little Skinny

2009-11-25T18:44:00.000-08:00

We saw Lucas' pediatrician today. We had a scheduled 6th-month visit and he was also going to have some vaccine shots.

We were thrilled to see that Lucas has grown a lot in terms of height. He is 1.5 inches taller since 2 months ago. His head size is also growing steadily, and this is one thing I watch very closely because this is one way to measure brain development. We were a little disappointed that he didn't gain much weight. He only gained 7 ounces in the last two months. He dropped from the 56th pecentile at 2 months and 36th percentile at 4 months to the 15th percentile at 6 months. The doctor said "he looks just a little skinny to me".

We've been trying to make his feeding as regular as possible, but it's been challenging feeding Lucas when he's not hungry. It takes time before he drinks his milk. He eats solids ok, so the doctor advised that we start feeding him solids twice instead of just once a day and to give him formula after every meal. She also suggested we mix his food with a little bit of olive oil to add a little more calories. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is going to work.

_____________

Photo: Lucas with his Nana

Six Months

2009-11-24T22:07:00.000-08:00

Lucas turned six months old today. Wow--time does fly!

I wanted to do something for him today. I wanted to get him cake and celebrate his six-month birthday. But then I thought, it's Nathan's birthday too--he turned one year old today and I think that's a bigger deal than six months. Yet my sister's family isn't celebrating him today. In fact, my sis is out working. We won't be celebrating Nathan's birthday until this weekend.

I also didn't feel like eating cake. Charles isn't big on cakes too. So I changed my mind about getting cake. Instead, we had something that Lucas can eat--jello! Yes, he now eats jello for dessert. I put one candle on the jello, took photos and made a wish for him, while Daddy blew the candle. The smile on Lucas' face was priceless!

Happy Birthday, Little Knick Knack! I love you so much!

Rolling Over

2009-11-13T19:31:00.000-08:00

I saw Lucas rollover for the first time today. His nanny said this wasn't the first time he did it, but it's the first time I witnessed it. This is one of the cons of being a working parent. You don't get to witness all of your baby's firsts--the babysitter will.

I saw him rollover today because I worked from home. I get to do that once in a while and I thank God that my work is flexible in that aspect. But these are the times when I wish I wasn't working, that I just stay home and be with Lucas all the day long. Reality check: not possible.

I wonder what other firsts I'll miss...

First Solids

2009-10-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

For the first time today, Lucas had solid food. We started him out with Rice Cereal, as his pediatrician suggested. Rice Cereal is too bland so to add a little bit of flavor, I mixed it with milk formula. At first, Lucas seemed a little shocked to have eaten something different, but he liked it anyway and he finished the whole thing in about 20 minutes.

Next, I'll introduce flavors. I'm thinking yellow vegetables like squash, sweet potatoes and carrots. This is exciting!

Five Months...and that's it!

2009-10-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

I decided to officially stop breastfeeding today. It's about time to quit. I have so little milk now that I feel it is no longer worth the efforts. I used to produce 5-6 ounces every 3 hours and now it is down to 3 ounces per day, max.

I fed Lucas with breast milk for exactly 5 months. I wish I had done that for a whole year, but nature didn't quite cooperate. Nevertheless, I am very happy with 5 months.