21 Today

My dearest Lucas,

Today, you turned 21 months old.  Only three more months and you'll be two years old.  Wow, that was really fast!  I haven't even lost all my "baby weight" yet (the weight I gained when I had you), and now you'll be two.  That makes me feel really bad.

But hey, what more can I ask for when I have been blessed with an adorable, happy, healthy and smart little boy?  Aside from your size, which really doesn't matter a ton to me, you have become everything that I have hoped for in a baby--thus far.

You've been more active than ever--always jumping, climbing, running around, rolling on the floor, you name it.  And that is why even if you've been eating well this past month and drinking more milk than you used to, you're still skinny.  You are getting taller though, month after month.  You are now 33.5 inches tall.  You're not a tall baby but your pedia says your growth has been consistent.  That's good enough for me.

What I am most happy about is how much you've learned this past month.  You've been so easy to teach because you like following what we say and do.  And when you learn something new you keep repeating it and that's how you remember.  You now recognize shapes and colors.  It started with just your toys--your colorful shape sorters, where you put the pieces through their matching holes.  Shortly after, you started naming each shape, and then you started identifying the colors.  Now, you can even associate shapes and colors in things you see in the house--little rubber balls, square boxes, plates, pictures in your books, your other toys and the changing colors of the night-light in your room.

You now also read the alphabet.  When I first started teaching you the alphabet, I flashed your alphabet cards in order.  As soon as you started identifying most of the letters, I scrambled the cards and still you were able to identify them correctly. Maybe this is typical of a 20 month old, but I have to admit--I was very impressed at how fast you picked it up.  Now you can also say the words represented by the letters in each card.

Your verbal communication is getting clearer and clearer and now you can construct sentences on your own.  They're not well-constructed sentences--really more like phrases, but we can definitely understand you.  You say things like "wala pa abot Papa", "drink milk Lucas", "sakit tummy Lucas", "Mama work Minnesota", "miss Papa Mama", "I love Papi, I love Mamu", and many others.  Boy, you talk a lot!  Sometimes I tell you to be quiet because your talking is non-stop.  Sometimes you even talk in your sleep!

Little one, you entertain us a lot.  You love to dance to pretty much any music you hear--even TV commercials.  Your favorite is the iPad commercial--you'd stop whatever you do, you'd even stop crying and dance to it when it shows on TV.  You like imitating what we do.  You imitate and make fun of your cousin Nathan and how he speaks, but you adore him.  You like to walk like Papa and pace back and forth while talking on the phone.  You never fail to make us smile or laugh, especially when you are in a good mood.  You see me on the computer a lot and so you like using the computer too.  You now know how to use my Mac's remote to view slideshows of your photos.  You love looking at our photos, even if you've seen them so many times.

You are so good with remembering people's names.  I bet you're better at this than me.  People like the fact that you call them whatever they want you to call them, just as you call Tita Lotlot "Tita Lolot Gwapa".  You also call yourself "Lucas Gwapo".  Papi (Lolo) gave you a nickname "Utitud" (black ant) because you are small but fast.  You know that Mommy is "taga-Bohol", Papa is "taga-Cebu" and Lucas is "taga-San Rafael". I love the way you say "Bohol".  You say it so perfectly with a very audible "h".

But like many other kids your age, you are starting to show an attitude--a bad one, unfortunately.  You have some serious tantrums.  You scream and wail and roll on the floor crying when you don't get what you want.  You even hit or kick us when you are really upset.  Your dad and I have spanked and punished you several times.  We hate doing that, but we want you to know that hitting is never ok.

You do not want to be interrupted when you're playing so you'd scream and wiggle your way out of Grandma Nena's arms because you don't want her changing your diapers.  You've become very clingy, especially to me.  When I am around, you'd shoo your Grandma Nena away.  Again, that is not ok.  You have to keep in mind, my son, that Grandma Nena is a big part of your life now--whether you like it or not.  She takes very good care of you while mom and dad are away at work.  When you're older, I want you to be grateful to her because she cares so much about you, she treats you as her own grandchild.

Despite all these, I feel good about you, dear Lucas because I think you understand.  You understand punishment and even when you're still crying because I just scolded you, you'd be running with your open arms and you'd hug me or my leg so tight the moment you start seeing me calm down.  It's as if you already knew that mommy will never be mad at you.

Lucas, anak, we want you to be a good person when you grow up.  So I hope you will soon understand why we won't tolerate your wrongdoings and why we won't let you have everything that you want.  But you can rest assured that whatever you need, we will do our very best to provide--food, home, clothing, healthy and safe environment, education, values and most of all love.

We love you more than we can ever show you.

Tight hugs,
Mommy

Eating Again

For several months now, I've been worried about Lucas not eating enough food--hence, missing some nutrients.  He seems healthy because he hardly gets sick. But he is skinny and I wanted him to at least have a little bit of fat.  I like chunky babies.

What worried me more is that he not only eats very little but he also doesn't drink enough milk. He used to chug milk when I was still breastfeeding him, but when I couldn't breastfeed him anymore, I couldn't get him to like any formula. I've been supplementing his dairy intake with yogurt, which he likes.

But when I started him with solids, I thought my problem was over.  He was eating like a pig!  He would eat pretty much anything I gave him, and he wouldn't stop eating until I stopped feeding him.  But then he started getting picky...then pickier until it became quite a challenge to feed him.  He was eating very little and drinking very little milk.  I had to just stop worrying and accept that maybe that was all he could take and that maybe he is meant to be small.

Lately though, to my big surprise, he started eating a lot again.  And drinking milk!  He eats adult food now--rice, chicken, pork, fish, shrimp and some vegetables. He likes seafood more than chicken and red meat. He likes soup. He often has fruit for dessert and in addition to that eats a whole cup of yogurt after every meal.

And did I say he drinks milk now? We give him formula in the morning and whole milk the rest of the day. He drinks milk four times a day, a total of at least 20 ounces each day.  He used to only drink 10-12 ounces. He also drinks a lot of water and some juice during his meals. As a result, he gained about 2 pounds in a week. That just made me a happy camper!

I don't know what changed or what motivated him to eat more. I don't know if it started when we left him at my sister's and he saw how much his cousin eats and how much Nathan chugs milk. Or maybe I'm cooking better food? Or maybe the vitamins he's taking has finally taken into effect and improved his appetite?  I wish I knew. 

Whatever it is, I hope it keeps Lucas eating this way.  I am certainly enjoying this because I don't know how long this will last.  I do hope this will last and that he continues to eat this way as long as he needs to.

The Bond

We haven't been home this past three weekends, so in every one of those weekends Lucas would be sleeping next to us.  He has to when we are in someone else's house.  I somehow got used to it, so last night I wanted him to sleep next to me.

He just lay there for a little while, me thinking he would be dozing off shortly.  But he couldn't sleep and shortly thereafter, he got up and said "sleep crib!" while pointing to his crib.  "Are you sure?" I asked, but he kept asking me to move him back to his crib.

I have to admit--I was a little broken-hearted.  How can he not want to sleep next to me anymore?  He used to like it.  I used to tuck him in next to me, in the bed, and just move him to his crib when he was already asleep because he didn't like sleeping there by himself.  Now he's gotten used to it and would rather be there than next to his mom.

My little boy is growing up so fast.  I hope there will not come a time when he won't want me or his dad in his room anymore.  When he would rather be with his friends than with us.  When he would rather go out than join us for a quiet dinner.  When he would have too many activities that he can no longer come with us to church on Sundays.

There are things I cannot stop, like a child getting old and gaining his independence.  But there are things I think I can do to keep us close and hold that bond that will keep him coming back to me no matter how far apart life takes us.  And this, to me, is the greatest challenge of motherhood.