Celebrating 22

(Warning to readers:  Really long post)  

My dearest Talonglong,

Today, you turn 22 months old and here I am again writing you another letter.  Don't you think this is a great idea?  I used to just document your progress in Facebook and bullet them out here in my blog.  But inspired by your Tita Jopie's letters to your Cousin Benjamin, I thought, "why not do the same?". 

I think it's a good idea to do this so that someday--when you're old enough, you can read through my thoughts and realize how I feel about you and how important you are to me.  Who knows how much longer I'll live?  I certainly want to live long enough to be with you as you get older.  But only God can really tell.  So in the event that I don't live long enough to see you grow and be a man, have your own family and your own kids, I want you to have more of me through these letters.  And I hope that maybe you'll even let me guide you as you journey through life, even if I'm not physically there.

At 21 months old, you have already made me and your dad very proud of what you have accomplished so far. You are a smart little boy who can now effectively communicate to us in ways that still surprise us up to this day.  Your dad used to say that we shouldn't plan on taking you back to the Philippines or other places far until you are 2-3 years old and able to say what you need, ask questions, respond to us or tell us if you are not feeling fine.  Well, you're not even 2 yet but you can now do all these things and more.  You even stop me when you see me biting or chipping my nails, which is a really bad habit that until now I am still unable to overcome.  You say "Stop mommy! Do not kuan nails!"  It's funny how we're like swapping roles on those little moments.  Needless to say, I think you are ready to come with us and see places when there is an opportunity. I'll remind your dad of that.

Many times you surprise us by naming things that we didn't even think you'd recognize or calling out people we didn't know you'd remember.  Like this one day, I came home with a new phone and you said "iPhone!" when I haven't even told you what phone it is.  And while looking at some photos in the computer, you yelled "Spiderman!" pointing to a photo of Cousin Benjamin's birthday cake with a Spiderman cake-topper.  I think it was 5 months ago when you last saw Spiderman.  I am so happy that you didn't forget. But what I am happier about is that you really know how to organize your thoughts now and express them.  Earlier today, Grandma Nana told you to come with her to Stockton this weekend and that you should tell mommy and daddy that you want to come with her.  Well, you responded to her "wa taw balay!"  You cracked her up, and of course us too when we learned about it.

This month you got more and more comfortable with numbers.  You can identify the numbers on your number cards and when you're in doubt, you know that you can count the objects on the card to determine what number you are looking at.  You've also started counting things that you see, like the little batteries that you grab from Dad's desk, or your building blocks or other things you can get your hands on. Your dad has started teaching you how to count in Chinese, but I don't know how far you two will go with that.  I do hope that you will learn it someday because your daddy really wants you to learn Chinese.

You are getting better with your swimming and you can now kick your legs and swim on your own with the help of a floater.  But we still can't figure out why you can't make a balloon face.  You don't close your mouth when you are underwater and so you end up drinking a fair amount of chlorinated liquid.  But I am not giving up on you, my dear.  As long as you enjoy going to swim class, I'll take you there week after week.  You just tell me when you are not having fun anymore, ok?

You like being outdoors and now that winter is over, playing in the yard is something you look forward to everyday. When you're not in a good mood and we tell you "go outside?", you'd lighten up right away and let us take you out.  On weekends, you like hanging out with your dad as he does his yard work. I think you will love nature and the outdoors when you grow up.  I don't think you're going to be into sports, but you can now recognize what the different games are--basketball, baseball, volleyball, soccer and football.

We are not making a lot of progress with your potty training because you don't like it, but I think it's still early so I'm not so worried about that.  But you need to be potty-trained before you go to preschool.  Speaking of preschool, we have started looking at schools that you can go to because you are eligible to go to preschool starting this Fall. There are several schools in our area but choosing one that's best for you is more difficult than I expected.  Your dad and I wish we can take you to a school in the city that has great reviews and a really good Chinese program, but it's going to cost us an arm and a leg, so I'm not sure we can make that happen.  Know though that your dad and I are going to try all we can to give you only the best in terms of education.  And keep in mind that good education doesn't always mean a good school.

One thing I worry about is the amount of time you spend watching TV. You watch TV with your Grandma Nana everyday for who knows how long.  You are addicted to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and to make you happy, your dad even recorded some of those shows.  In the past, you don't put a lot of attention on TV but that has started to change recently.  I have to admit that we are partly to blame for this.  Sometimes, we offer TV to you so we can do other things while you watch TV.  I know this is not good and we'll do better going forward.

I did notice that what you like most about these shows is the music, the singing and the dancing and you very well remember the music. I love music too--so much that I was worried you'll end up tone-deaf like your dad, but I don't think you are.  You play "name that tune" with me where I hum or whistle the tune and you'd tell me what song it is.  It's pretty impressive, by the way!  Your dad was amazed when you started guessing the songs right.

Your eating has improved.  You like hotdog and lumpia, so we always have those on stock.  But you seem to eat anything I serve these days so I'd like to think you like my cooking.  I hope someday you'll appreciate that I cook our meals.  Not all moms cook, you know--especially working moms.  I want you to know that no matter how tired I am from work, I will make an effort to cook for you because I prefer to know what goes into the food you eat.

My dear boy, you have become a hard-headed one and many times you don't listen to me and Dad.  You do things that we tell you not to do and sometimes I feel that you deliberately try and provoke us.  In the early morning, you look for me or Dad and when Grandma Nana comes to see you, you shoo her away. You scream, you hit or throw things when we don't let you or give you what you want. And when we sit you down to talk to you and make you understand that what you did is wrong, you change the subject!  How on earth did you learn to do that at such a tender age?

Despite your early display of some unpleasant attitude, you never fail to make us laugh.  You are funny in your own little ways, and of course you don't know it.  What I enjoy the most is seeing you dance and imitating your dad's actions.  You really are a mini-version of him!  Your dad and I enjoy watching you sleep.  And although we made you sleep in your own room, somehow we are happy when we have guests so there is reason for you to sleep next to us.  When you are sleeping next to us, your dad and I look like crazy dogs who just can't stop smelling you!

Dear Lucas, you achieved two great milestones on your 21st month:

First, you now sleep at night without the "binky".  For the past 20 or so months, you have been dependent on it.  Imagine my relief when you finally slept without it!  It's been more than a week now and you've been fine.  Son, you just gave me a reason to give myself a pat in the back.  Thank you!

Second, you now drink from the cup all on your own.  We still keep an eye on you to make sure you don't spill liquid on the floor.  One time, you made your dad mad when you intentionally poured milk onto your feet, and you waited until he looked at you because you were just being silly.  It's not so much the mess that we're worried about--it's making sure you don't slip by stepping on wet floor.  Nevertheless, we are so proud of you for this achievement.

Lucas, I look at you now and I still can't believe how fast you've grown.  I am still insecure about the fact that I am not taking care of you myself, that I go to work everyday and leave you in the care of someone else.  It makes me sad sometimes but I overcome it by browsing through your old photos, reading my old letters and Facebook posts, and reminiscing our times together.  For every photo I see, I remember what took place that day and then I say to myself,  "I really didn't miss that much!"

So when you come up to me and wrap your little arms tightly around my neck, and you rest your head on my shoulders, or when you hand me that flower and say "I love you, Mama!"--I am reminded of the greatest privilege that I have ever been granted in this lifetime--being your mother.  And you have no idea how happy that makes me!

I love you, Lucas!  And thank you for giving us so much joy!

Mommy